DISPATCHES FROM NOWHERE

On Sabbatical

2010-08-28T07:53:00.003-07:00

As you can see from the lack of updates, I've gone missing. Actually, I decided to spend most of the first half of the year living in our Mexico home. I had no internet access in that house which is 20 miles from the closes town. But that will change in October when I'll secure wireless. I've had access to the internet this summer in Flagstaff, but I've had little time to interact with it. I'm calling it the Summer From Hell. In June, a careless camper didn't bother to extinguish his campfire in the Coconino National Forest near Flagstaff. And within 48 hours, 15,000 beautiful acres of ponderosa pine became match sticks. The fire storm came within 100 yards of our cabin, but we and our neighbors were spared. What we hadn't anticipated was the subsequent floods to come during the summer monsoon season which runs from early July to late September. The 1,400 homes below the fire area have been devastated by three major floods so far. And the past month has been spent trying to avert the flood waters from our property and our neighbor's. But we are more fortunate than others as at least 50 houses have been condemned from the flooding. I'll return to the blog this autumn. And, hopefully I'll pick up my camera again and feel the love!

Life Will Be Good Again One Day.

White Goes Well With Red

2010-01-23T17:22:00.002-07:00

This past week's winter storm was something else across Arizona. I got pounded with rain on my way to Sedona (8 inches near Sunset Point) and then found my SUV, along with everything else, draped in snow. Oh boy, there's not much prettier than the white stuff gently enveloping the Red Rock area like a delicate table cloth at a holiday dinner. Couldn't get to Flagstaff where at last report, the mountain received this week 82 inches of powder. I've never been good at math, but I'm figuring that's just about seven feet of the fluffy stuff. Mother Nature has been prolific lately.

Life Is Good Here In Arizona When Winter Teases The Masses.

Back On The Road

2010-01-13T07:49:00.003-07:00

This dispatch is long overdue simply out of neglect. Much of the past 8 weeks has been spent away from my home in Nowhere, either in Mexico or on the wonderful backroads of Arizona. I am now in the preparation phase of a new book I hope to publish in the fall to celebrate my 25 years crisscrossing Arizona's backroads for both Arizona Highways Magazine and my commercial photography business. To say 2009 was a great year for business would be a misnomer. But we are excited about our love of photography for this new decade. And we wish you the very best for this year and those ahead. In the meantime, you'll be hearing a lot more from me and hopefully seeing much more of my work. And I do hope our paths cross somewhere along Arizona's backroads.

Life Is Soooo Good When I'm On The Road.

Shrimp in the Arizona Desert

2009-11-03T07:54:00.004-07:00

This coming Saturday November 7, I plan to visit the small town of Gila Bend in south central Arizona. Known years ago as the fan belt capitol of the United States because of the extreme summer temps resulting in large numbers of vehicles losing their fan belts while traveling nearby Interstate 8. But in this new millennium, this town of about 1,500 is known for its Arizona shrimp farming. Say what? Ain't that a triple oxymoron? Yup. The good folks in Gila Bend (the school mascot is the gila monster) are throwing an annual party: The Gila Bend Desert Shrimp Festival. Okay, so how in the world do shrimp and a hot desert town go hand in hand? Because some very high quality shrimp are commercially grown here on shrimp farms. I once did a story on the shrimp farms west of Gila Bend near the ghost town of Agua Caliente. So, I'm excited to return to the area to photograph and munch on some taste sea creatures who are fortunate enough to call the Sonoran desert their home. This is one reason I so love Arizona.

Mother Nature Is Calling

2009-10-18T19:57:00.006-07:00

I am joining my two photographer sons on a trip to eastern Arizona where we have a rendezvous with Mother Nature. She's teasing our visual senses with autumn's peak colors this week. Another few days and it's all over. I haven't been back home to Nowhere for what seems like a month, but when my boys insisted I join them for this road trip, I couldn't resist. We'll be adding a video of the trip shortly.

Life is good when I'm with my family and Ma Nature.

Where The Hell Am I?

2009-10-13T10:36:00.005-07:00

My head is spinning, and my wife has forgotten what I look like. Old age? Maybe, but I suspect it's because I'm traveling Arizona's back roads and have been for several weeks now. My photographer sons are with me as I begin a book project on Arizona villages. We're in eastern Arizona right now, and the aspen are at their visual peak. We found these owls at the barn of my good friend Sam Udall, a one-of-a-kind cowboy near Eager. The east trail to Mt. Baldy is spectacular, but the wind is abusing the leaves today. We'll be in Blue, Az. tomorrow. If possible, I'll upload a picture or two from my iPhone along the way. In the meantime, enjoy Arizona's autumn!

Life is good when I'm trucking along any Arizona back road.

Time To Be In The High Country

2009-10-04T16:44:00.004-07:00

If you've read my two previous posts, you know we're in the thick of Arizona autumn colors. I'll make this brief as we're outside Flagstaff photographing the elk rut this week. We happened upon this deer bedded down as we entered the Coconino National Forest off FS road 418. But I want to let you know that the aspen will be at their peak colors between October 4-11 this year. The north side of the peaks are spectacular right now, and the inner basin will be in prime colors later this week. Let's hope a cold front doesn't move through and drop the color. Enjoy. We are.

When the aspen overwhelm one's senses, life is good.

More Arizona Autumn Drives

2009-09-23T07:24:00.008-07:00

In my September 14 post, I offered three Arizona backroad drives for seeing the autumn colors. The colors begin in another two weeks in some locations. Here are the next four of my favorite autumn drives.
4. Southeast Arizona: Near the village of Portal in the Chiricahua Mountains. Take Interstate 10 from Tucson to just before the New Mexico border. Go south on state highway 80 and then west to Portal on Forest Service road 42. From Portal, turn left (south) and you'll be entering Maple Camp. Then, it's a two-mile hike in from the South Fork Trail. Wonderful maples. Usually peaks later than the other sites, around October 28-November 5.
5. Sedona: Schnebly Hill road between Sedona and Interstate 17. I enjoy entering this drive from I-17 at exit 320 (Schnebly Hill Rd.). After 15-20 minutes, you'll come to the rim with gorgeous views down to Sedona. Take that Forest Service road 153 down the hill to Sedona. It's a bit steep and can be rough, so I recommend a 4WD. There are countless spots to pull off, get out, hike and take photos. About 1/3 to half way down you'll come to a very tight turn in the road (actually there are several). But in this turn in the switchback road, a number of maples grow. And if you're lucky, you'll hit the spot - a long blanket of brilliant oranges and reds. It's a relatively small area, maybe 2 acres, but it's comparable to New England's best. Honest. Peaks about a month after Flagstaff's aspen. October 28 - November 5.
6. Oak Creek Canyon north of Sedona: Highway 89A between Sedona and Flagstaff can offer some nice spots of color. But my favorite here (if you like to hike an easy trail) is the West Fork of Oak Creek. Lots of flora color beyond some tree color. Drive south 17.5 miles south from Flagstaff or north 9.5 miles from Sedona to about halfway between milepost 385 and 384. The trailhead is on the west side of the highway down a paved lane that leads behind a few creekside houses. The best place to park is at the Call O' The Canyon day-use area. Mid to late October.
7. Flagstaff: Lockett Meadow and Inner Basin of the San Francisco Peaks. From the east side of Flagstaff off I-40, take highway 89 and travel north for 18 miles. Turn left onto Lockett Meadow - Schultz Pass Road - this is the road marked "Forest Access Road", located directly across the divided highway from the turnoff to Sunset Crater National Monument. Take the forest access road 0.5 miles to the junction with FR 522 (Lockett Meadow Road). Continue on FR 522 4.6 miles to the open meadow. Great aspen. And there's a trail to the inner basis as well. October 1-12.

Life Is Good When Autumn Arrives in Arizona.

Enjoy This. We Do.

2009-09-14T09:07:00.001-07:00

Autumn Drives Across Arizona

2009-09-14T07:25:00.003-07:00

If you're in Phoenix, Tucson or elsewhere in Arizona's Sonora Desert, you'd never know it but autumn is just around the corner offering wonderful colors of aspen, maple and oak. Arizona is no New England when it comes to autumn colors, but there are some awesome spots nonetheless. Here are my favorites culled from 25 years of autumn back roads. The peak days fluctuate from year to year, but usually the great colors can run from 7-10 days. But I've seen unexpected cold storms end the beauty overnight. I highly recommend purchasing an Arizona road atlas which contains all of the state's Forest Service roads. These FS roads are gravel, but most are in great shape. Call the local Forest Service offices for color updates but the high country colors usually begin around the first of October. The earliest I've witnessed in 25 years is September 25 and the latest October 14. I'll present three locations now and more next week. Finally, if you want more information about any of these spots, just email me.
1. White Mountains: waves of rich aspen. From state highway 260, take the Sunrise Ski Resort road and continue onto FS road 113 to the Big Lake area. Return to state highway 260 by using highway 261 from Big Lake to the town of Eagar. Also, all around the village of Greer. Usually October 3-14.
2. Eastern Arizona: Escudilla Mountains about 25 minutes south of Springerville and east of state highway 191/180. These Forest Service roads may require a 4WD vehicle. Take the road up the mountain. You'll also find nice color if you continue south to the town of Alpine and all along state highway 191 to Hannigan Meadow. October 1-8.
3. Flagstaff: Hart Prairie Road on the west side of the San Francisco Peaks on Forest Service Road 794. Take state highway 180 northeast out of Flagstaff and continue pass the Snow Bowl ski resort turnoff. Shortly thereafter, you'll need to look for the small brown Forest Service road sign 794. If you're there at the peak weekend, expect lots of cars and dust. You'll travel north until you come to the intersection of FS 418. Turn right and continue eastward. You'll be on the north side of the SF Peaks and eventually come to state highway 89. Head south back into Flagstaff. October 4-12.

When Your Senses Are In October Overload, Life Is Good.

What It Takes

2009-09-09T16:08:00.005-07:00

The magazine I work for, Arizona Highways, has a clever article in September's issue titled: What It Takes. Written by Kelly Kramer, the story recounts some of the unique behind-the-scenes happenings several of us photographers have encountered while working on assignment. Here's a vignette of one of my many experiences... I am deep in the middle of San Carlos Apache Reservation shooting a story on fishing in the most remote and rugged areas of the Black River in eastern Arizona. My brother Kurt is tagging along for my second visit to the area. As the sun breaks the horizon, we are hiking down 1,500 feet through thick pine trees and brush to the river. Soon, Kurt is standing on a large boulder along the river bank preparing his fly rod while I am planted behind him on the bank getting my camera ready. I happen to glance up and look down stream spotting an Arizona black bear working its way up the bank towards us. It was turning rocks looking for something to eat. I need to warn Kurt but not alert the bear just yet to our location. I slowly blow air through my pressed lips to get his attention... psst. psst. psst. Kurt doesn't turn around. I continue my soft alerts to no avail. As the bear rambles closer, I resort to a finger poke at his backside which does get his attention. Kurt turns. I point. He marvels at his first Arizona bear while I start photographing. Moments later, the bear leaves the river bank, rumbling back into the forest. I ask Kurt why he didn't turn round when I was hissing for his attention. "I thought you were just having an asthma attack and were using your inhaler," Kurt smiled.

When a bear passes you by for breakfast, Life Is Good.

A Labor Of Love

2009-09-06T15:57:00.002-07:00

The nation is celebrating Labor this weekend. It's given me pause today to reflect on my unique career. I've lived a very adventurous life as an Arizona Highways photographer. And, for that, I am enormously grateful. While some people visit psychiatrists to get their heads on straight, I hit the open road for the magazine and photograph the backroads of Arizona. When I'm out of the city and in the middle of nowhere, I am in church. Arizona's rural outdoors is my place of worship. The good Lord and Mother Nature have treated me well. I only hope I have done the same.

Life Is Good When I'm Lost On The Backroads Of Arizona.

Something Smells This School Year

2009-08-31T20:52:00.003-07:00

School is back in session here in Nowhere. The first day is tomorrow September 1, so there's been plenty of activity around the school site. Teacher meetings and all. I stopped by the school today to say hello to several of the teachers I hadn't crossed paths with during the summer. Meeting in the cafeteria was the Fraternal Association of Retired Teachers. (Yes, you read that right). Along with the Lion’s Club, the Elks and the VFW, you may have seen the F.A.R.T. signage on the town's welcoming sign as you enter our fine village. These old F.A.R.T.s usually gather once a month in the back room of Dina’s Coffee Shop and Hair Emporium for a potluck dinner but decided on our school to kick off the year. Local favorites include pinto bean casserole, green olives, red chili with beans and grilled veggies as appetizers. It’s a closed-door gathering. Thank goodness. You can learn more online about this whole smelly issue at dontpassgas.org.

Life Is Good If You're An Old FART from Nowhere.

Another 1,000 Miles From Nowhere

2009-08-05T10:09:00.006-07:00

You might recall from an earlier dispatch (April 3, 2009), I wrote about country singer Dwight Yoakam’s hit song, “1000 miles From Nowhere” and if he had indeed penned the song about Nowhere, Arizona. Anyway, I laid awake nights wondering just why Mr. Yoakam wrote a song about Nowhere. My conclusion was that he had been to Nowhere or at least past through our town and was inspired enough to write a song about it. I finally wrote a letter to the singer through his website, and don’t you know, he wrote back. Or at least maybe someone from his entourage did. The reply is still taped to the big window down at Dina’s Coffee Shop & Hair Emporium. Here’s the reply: “Never been nowhere. Don't plan to.” Well, that settles that! I finally got a good night’s sleep.

Life Is Good When I Listen To "1,000 Miles From Nowhere" while cruising down an Arizona backroad.

40 YEARS AGO TODAY

2009-07-20T12:44:00.005-07:00

Forty years ago right now, my brother Dave and I stopped at a downtown storefront selling televisions across from the Salzach River in Salzburg, Austria. The Apollo 11 astronauts had just landed on the moon. And when the crowd which had gathered to watch this historic event in the shop window heard my brother Dave and I speaking American English, we were mobbed. At 17, I had never been kissed by so many women my mother's age nor my hand squeezed by so many men. Much of the world hated the United States at this time because of the prolonged Viet Nam War. Dave and I had been spit on repeatedly just a weekend before while visiting Paris. But on July 20, 1969, the rest of the world loved us. What we experienced those days across Europe set in stone my views about many things. Walking the streets of Nowhere reminds me each day just how fortunate we are in spite of our rumblings.

Life Was Good 40 Years Ago. And It Ain't Too Bad Today.

Goodbye, Friend

2009-07-04T16:31:00.000-07:00

My life-long friend Dave left us all today. He walked like a hero into this Arizona setting sun while family and friends cried out his name. You pretend not to notice unwanted things like that when they come calling. Death has always been a mystery. Sometimes you get sick and you don't get better. Today, I have no flame deep down in my soul. All I got now is a memory. But that won't fade. I will not let it. I'm at a crossroads. Which way do I choose? I stop in front of Dolly's Pharmacy and stare at my reflection for what seems like two days. The only things I see are reflections of what had already been. See you on the other side, Dave.

Life Is Good, Even In Death.

It's Been A Great Ride For A Friend

2009-06-24T07:17:00.003-07:00

My boss and friend is about to hang up his spurs he's worn the past 25 years at Arizona Highways magazine. Director of Photography Peter Ensenberger retires this week after 300 monthly issues under his guidance. It's been a heck of a ride for Pete, his photographers and the magazine. And, without hesitation, I can say that shooting for this travel magazine has given me the greatest pleasure of my 35 year career in photography. Pete made it a very enjoyable ride. He's got a book offer and some other ventures spinning around his head. He won't be idle for long. Stepping up to the magazine's head photo job is another good friend and photographer, Jeff Kida. This guy doesn't miss a beat. He's already got his spurs on and ready to ride this bull. In this business, things seldom stay the same. Except for the friendships. That's what makes being an Arizona Highways photographer so gratifying. That and making great pictures.

Life Is Good With Friends Like These.

Arizona's Tree vs. Nowhere's Tree

2009-06-17T11:26:00.002-07:00

Arizona’s official state tree is the Palo Verde. Nowhere has two official trees; one for the summer months and one for the winter. Every residential lot is required to have a lemon tree, and lemonade is the official summer drink. The town’s goal: a lemonade stand on every corner June through September. The official winter tree is the mesquite - a desert tree which burns hot and its smoke offers a very delightful flavor to meats grilled over its flames. For years, Juan Luis down at Nowhere’s Almost Famous BBQ - Taco Stand & Taxi Service, holds a Mesquite Fest every weekend December through February. But there’s a kink in Juan’s plans. You see, lemons grow back every year, but mesquite trees take 15+ years to mature. So how do Nowhere residents get around this dilemma? Import the mesquite.

In Nowhere in the summer, life is good with sweet lemonade on every corner.

Love Peace and What?

2009-06-12T10:39:00.003-07:00

We've been busy, and that's a good thing for a photographer. After an unusually slow spring, things are popping around here. I've leaving Nowhere now for the cool pines of northern Arizona. This weekend the boys and I have a booth at the Route 66 Chili Cookoff Saturday in Flagstaff and the Arizona State Chili Cookoff Sunday in Payson. We won't be cooking chili but we will be selling our new Arizona Chile Poster (see the October 13, 2008 blurb on this blog), our line of T-shirts and other chile stuff. Cool Country - Hot Chiles. Sounds pretty good to me. Oh, better add a cerveza or three. I hope you enjoy the weekend as much as we will. Then it'll be back to Nowhere and back to work.

A dozen bowls of chili will make life good.

... And The Living Is Easy

2009-05-28T19:01:00.005-07:00

Nothing says summertime around Nowhere than kids running through open fields, flying kits and selling lemonade on a street corner. It's been a couple of weeks since I last posted (my apologies), but I've been traveling as fast and furious as a flock of Canadian geese just trying to get back north for their summer fun. Chasing a kite reminds me of my summers growing up on in a rural spot in northern Iowa. At the time, I thought I was nowhere. Who would have thunk that twenty years later I'd end up in Nowhere, Arizona? Here in Nowhere reminds me a lot of Goldfield, Iowa: small town, friendly folks and kids oblivious to conditions outside of Nowhere. Kids from Nowhere don't know it yet, but they're making memories of the good old days. I hope they come to appreciate them as much as I do. Have a great June, folks. I'll be nowhere except in Nowhere.

'Cause Life Here Is Good.

Wealth and Priviledge

2009-05-15T07:00:00.004-07:00

My father becomes an octogenarian this week. He looks back over the decades of farming and says it seems just like yesterday. I'm departing Nowhere shortly to celebrate with him and Mom.

I am the oldest of six sons born to dirt farmers Jim and Eileen Stevenson. As far as possessions, we certainly weren't wealthy or privileged. We may not have had what we wanted, but our parents sought to it that we always had what we needed.

My five brothers and I lived in a 100-year-old house in a very rural part of northern Iowa. We didn't wear clothes from fancy department stores nor did we ever have elaborate play things from Toys R Us. Our mother hand-sewed many of the clothes we wore as children. And a great percent of our toys were hand made by my father or purchased third or fourth hand.

From the age of 10, my parents insisted I do my share of the daily farm chores. I gathered dozens of eggs in a musty hen house from beneath several hundred chickens each morning. I weeded countless miles of soybean field rows and bailed endless fields of alfalfa even though I was a severe asthmatic. I learned to artificially inseminate cows, deliver newborn calves and mercifully put dying runt piglets out of their misery.

Forty years ago this summer, my parents bought me my first camera - a Pentax K1000 with one 50mm lens. It seems like yesterday. Neither they nor I could have imagined that this gift would lead me into a wondrous 35-year-career in photography. I still have that camera. And I still have my parents. It's the right time to make another picture of them at his birthday party.

Was I privileged growing up? You bet I was. I had the greatest wealth of all: two loving parents. And I'm thankful beyond words.

Happy Birthday, pops. Now, keep your hands off of mom.

Two Loving Parents = Life Is Good.

Salud, Mi Amigos

2009-05-05T09:08:00.008-07:00

Funny isn't it, more folks in the United States celebrate Cinco de Mayo than our compadres south of our border where the Mexicans have more reason to celebrate. But that's what makes the mix of cultures so interesting and so much fun.

Today's Mexican holiday celebrates the victory of 4,000 Mexican soldiers over 8,000 French forces on this day in 1862. The common misconception is that today's celebration is Independence Day. That day actually is the 16th of September. But Cinco de Mayo represents the last time an army from another continent invaded the Americas. Sounds like a darn good reason to celebrate for all of us Americans.

That pesky, but over-hyped, flu bug has tried to put a damper on the celebrations these past couple of weeks, but I'm not buying it. I'm back home in Nowhere this week, and the local saloons are decorated with Mexican and American flags and offering drink specials today. I'm gonna slip on down to the Blue Agave Saloon mid-afternoon to tip a few to our friends south of the border for kicking the French back to where they came from. Let it be known that Mexican victory kept Napoleon III from supplying the American Confederate soldiers and prolonging our Civil War.

Muchas gracias, mi amigos. And thanks for that little invention called the margarita.

Live is sweet and life is good.

A British Buzz Cut?

2009-04-26T17:51:00.003-07:00

Each Spring, I travel to central Florida to photograph the latest crop of lawn mowers being tested by Consumer Reports Magazine. It is a shoot I look forward to. The techies - usually three great guys who are actually engineers - from the magazine come south from New York and I fly in from Arizona. Long days but great people. Well, to my surprise the British equivalent to America's Consumer Report made arrangements to test Euro mowers at the Florida site. On my first day on site, I bumped into the two British bloats unloading their Euro mowers from a rental truck. I wandered over to introduce myself midday, and these guys must have saw my dropped jaw from a kilometer away! There they were testing this contraption with NO wheels cutting a lush green field of grass. Holy Bermuda Batman, how can this thing actually work without wheels? Well, it did. It's an English made electric mower and it simply hovers. A little pressure on the handles and the elevation changes. Fascinating. The Brits explained that most grassy yards in England are very small plots; maybe 20x20 feet. Not much grass grows in that confined space. We Americans, well at least this one, always envision huge estates with endless fields of grass. Not so, say these grass cutting professionals. I offered to purchase this floating mower once they were done testing, but international law required they bring the contraption back to England. I would have loved to bring this thing back to Nowhere.

Life Is Good when the sweet smell of freshly cut grass fills the air.

Spring Is In The Air... Achoo!

2009-04-22T08:59:00.005-07:00

Every spring, Arizona Highways photographers pray for a great wildflower season from March till May. There's nothing more soothing to the soul than getting out on the back roads and communing with colors, scents and the magical light we seek. The last great wildflower season in Arizona was 20 some years ago. Ya right, you say. True. We keep track of those things. The difference between a great wildflower season and a poor one is the amount and timing of the rain Arizona gets. It all hinges on desert rains during the months of November and December. And, it doesn't help that Arizona is in its 17th year of a major drought. If I remember correctly, we've had one pretty good season in the past 20 years. The glory years were from the mid 1970s to the mid 80s. Those truly were the good ol' days, at least for wildflower photographers. I'm confident those great seasons will return one day, hopefully before I'm buried beneath them!

Life Is Good when Mother Nature teases our senses.

The Road to Nowhere

2009-04-17T06:41:00.004-07:00

The road to Nowhere is a real piece of work. I should know. I've been traveling between here and there for the past three decades. The only improvements to this lifeline to the outside world has been a constant plugging of pot holes and a few new road signs which warn drivers of the steep grades. Some years back, the folks from the state highway department found the drive so ridiculous that they had some fun with the warning signs. I happened by shortly after workers put up the new signs and grabbed a few pictures which in turn were featured in a national publication later. Nowhere got a little publicity out of the whole thing while passersby got a few chuckles. But the highway crew who created and posted the signs, most of whom live in or around Nowhere, discovered their humor didn't translate back at the state highway department back in Phoenix. The sign was ordered taken down. Somehow, that sign reappears twice a year for a few days hanging outside of Nowhere. Just long enough to get some transportation official's panties all in a bunch and a phone call to Nowhere's mayor's office. Our mayor doesn't get too uptight over pranks. Most likely 'cause he proudly proclaims each election time that he doesn't have time to put on underwear because he's too busy working for the people of Nowhere. Sam's been elected 12 straight times.

Life Is Good.

April Ramblings

2009-04-13T15:03:00.005-07:00

Oh boy, I'm all of a sudden busier than a single bull in a hayfield full of heifers. We photographers complain when the phone's not ringing, and we complain when it doesn't stop. Work is work - when it's work. But when it's fun, it's not work at all. So, that's as much complaining I'm gonna do. For now. Gotta get to Phoenix this week for a three-day photo shoot at a national dental conference. Must keep my eyes wide open and my mouth shut. These folks will like my camera in their faces as much as I like dentists in mine. It's wildflower season right now. Better get out and do a little shooting before summer puts an end to all the glory spread across Arizona. Time to go feed the bull and new calves. Later.

No reason to complain when Life Is Good.

1000 Miles From Nowhere

2009-04-03T11:14:00.007-07:00

Back there in 2000-2001, everyone around here who listens to country music believed our town of Nowhere finally made it big time. Country singer Dwight Yoakam had a hit song called 1000 miles From Nowhere. It was the talk of the town. Even Father MacDonald preached a sermon about it. He titled it: Fame. Although most everyone was certain this song would finally put Nowhere on the map, Father Mac spoke how fame would only steal one's soul. His point was this: productivity and creativity is what matters in a person’s life. Well, right after church, I raced home to do a little creativity of my own. I pulled my old Randy McNally road map from the shelf, measured off a piece of string equaling 1,000 miles on the scale and tied it to a pin. Then I stuck the pin right there on Nowhere. With a pencil attached to the other end of the taught string, I drew the circumference around Nowhere to see just exactly where Mr. Yoakam was singing about. Other than Nowhere, of course. The first line of the song is: “I’m a thousand miles from Nowhere and there’s no place I’d rather be.” Well, let me tell you Mr. Yoakam was nowhere to be found in Arizona. Rather, 1,000 miles from Nowhere is just plain far away. Here are some possibilities: Texarkana,AR., Miami, OK., Pittsburg, KS., Westpoint, NE., Woonsockat, S.D., Plummer, ID., or maybe even Yakima, WA. By the sound of it, I'm glad I'm Somewhere in Nowhere. More on Mr. Yoakam and his connection to Nowhere later.

When You're Nowhere, Life Is Good.

Joe The Ponderist

2009-03-28T10:45:00.006-07:00

Nowhere is Arizona's intersection of culture. At least that's what I believe. I say so for two reasons. My photography career has taken me to nearly every town and nameless spots across this grand state. And, I know Joe. Joe Splinter is Nowhere's jokester. But he's good for more than a few jokes each time you bump into him. Joe is Nowhere's official Ponderist. In years past, we'd bump into each other at the Nowhere Tavern for a Friday night cerveza. Now, at our age, it's usually a quick chat in line at the town pharmacy or I'll stop by his feed and tack store. Here's a few of Joe's ponderisms...
• I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
• The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
• Have you noticed since everyone has a video cam or a cell phone with built-in camera these days no one talks about seeing UFOs like they used to?
• In the 60's, people took acid to make the world weird... Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal.
• How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
• Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out?'
• Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there? I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta its butt.'
• If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a song about him?
• Why do OB-GYN doctors leave the room when you get undressed if he's going to look up there anyway?

When Joe Splinter drops a few of his ponderisms on you, Life Is Good.

Dinner With Ghosts

2009-03-21T14:22:00.006-07:00

Last November, I was on location with sons/business partners Ryan and Cameron photographing some of the state's best restaurants for Arizona Highways magazine. This assignment took us to Flagstaff, Kingman, Lake Havasu City, Yuma, Prescott and finally Jerome. The restaurants we photographed are for the April 2009 issue. And all six we visited are great places to visit AND eat. They were all unique, but the most surprising is Hubb's Bistro inside the historic Hotel Brunswick in Kingman. The food was fabulous. The beer cold. And the ghosts were friendly. Yes, ghosts. The place is well-known for its permanent guests. We had a little fun with this photograph before an unexpected cold breeze swept by us... while we were still inside the restaurant... with the doors closed.

Life is Good. Especially if you're one of the living.

A Bright Idea From the Postal Service

2009-03-14T07:16:00.006-07:00

It's spring here in Nowhere, and we've been busy with getting in a garden, replacing my SUV's radiator and prepping for the next photo shoot. Oh, and paying the bills before hitting the open road again. It's not easy getting mail somewhere quick from Nowhere. The post office's airmail drop box is a bit difficult to reach... unless you're the postmaster who is 7-foot 2-inches in height. She doesn't understand us altitude challenged folks whose only recourse is to climb up on the hood of our vehicles to drop off the letter or package. Oh well, it makes for some interesting photos when Candi, the local club dancer, needs to air mail anything.

Life Is Good With Practical jokers in Nowhere.

Bridge Over Troubled Waters

2009-03-01T10:42:00.006-07:00

Brother David and his daughter Emma are coming to Nowhere later this week for his annual fishing trip to Mexico. Dave has been an Iowa farmer all his life along with another brother Mark. They're damn good at what they do. In fact, they're fifth generation farmers. About this time you're thinking they must operate big corporate farms. You know, those evil folks who hire illegals to do manual labor and pay them little all the while driving around in their $60,000 custom pickup trucks. Sorry to disappoint your preconceived notions. Mark and Dave have never hired an illegal. They do all the manual labor themselves. They do pay themselves little and they still drive around old Chevy pickups in which the Check Engine lights have remained on for 7 or 8 years now. This winter, they endured several nights of 30 degrees below zero and a month's worth of days that didn't cross above zero. Yet, they're probably the most content people I know. Dave deserves a week of fishing with his daughter under a warm sun. Today, Nowhere is boasting a temp of 86 which makes me wonder why there's a covered bridge on the road to Nowhere. Hummm. I think we all deserve a bright, sunshiny day and a bridge to get us over the tough spots.

Life Is Good In Nowhere. Where The Sun and It's People Always Shine.

On Being A Jackalope

2009-02-24T11:44:00.005-07:00

It’s not easy being a Jackalope from Nowhere. Sometimes it’s difficult for our school to even field a full roster on any of the sports teams. Take football for example. No, forget that example. Nowhere has never had a football team. Yet, just about all of the 97 students this school year joined at least one team. Take baseball for example. Coach Mulkins was overwhelmed on tryouts day. It wasn’t easy narrowing the team members down to ten players from the 11 who tried out. With sports, band and choir, it’s just understood that everyone - in spite of their level of talent - participates… at least some of the time. Last year, junior Mike Wright made the baseball squad. He struck out every time at bat. Well, except the time he got hit by a pitch. Randy is a left handed batter. He lost his right eye in a fishing accident. Still, like most kids around here, he never lets that get in the way of trying his darnedest. Nowhere is full of people like Mike; keeping an eye on the ball and willing to do their part for Nowhere.

Life Is Good When Everyone Chips In.

Excuse Me, But I Think I Love You

2009-02-11T05:42:00.001-07:00

I'm heading down this endless road known as Nowhere's main drag on my way to the hardware store in search of a nut and a couple of loose screws. I spot a pink heart-shaped candy on the sidewalk. You know, those little ditties you'd pass around in grade school come February 14. Don't ask me why - okay, you can ask - but I have the Beach Boys playing on the ipod, and I start thinking of someone who might have loved me once. What was that all about? Cobwebs coming loose, I guess. Nonetheless, I remind myself that my wife Debbie and I aren't much for greeting card holidays, jewelry or gifts. With 35 years of marriage history, we remind each other every day just how fortunate we are to love and be loved. I'm working in Mexico this Valentine's Day, and my wife is away in Phoenix helping nurse patients back to health at the big hospital there. We'll both take a few moments, I'm certain, not look back on love but the love we'll share on this continuing journey down our endless road together. Excuse me while I crank up the ipod. It's another Beach Boy's masterpiece.

With Good Vibrations, Life Is Good.

Finding One's Self In The Middle Of Nowhere

2009-01-29T07:15:00.000-07:00

The sun is making a valiant effort to break through an unusually beautiful foggy morning here in Nowhere. If there's any place to be in Arizona right now, Nowhere is it. Give me a moment while I create a few images of this deliciously sweet scene........ Okay, I'm back. Just three frames of Miss Genevieve on her porch with her mutt Boracho before the fog began to burn off and the sun overpowered the tranquility in the air. It's moments like these that calm the mind and twitter the heart. And I remind myself that sometimes you find yourself in the middle of nowhere, and sometimes in the middle of nowhere you find yourself. I am off for a winter morning walk in the desert. I can already smell the damp mesquite.

When Mother Nature gives birth to mornings like this one, Life Most Assuredly Is Good.

She Needed A Face Lift

2009-01-25T16:28:00.000-07:00

We've been busy of late putting the final touches on our commercial photography business's new website: stevensonphotography.com. That means I've been over in Phoenix working with the webmaster for a couple of weeks and not picking up my camera enough. So, enough IS enough. I'm back to Nowhere and darned glad to be here. I came to Phoenix for the first time in 1971 and 38 years has aged this city. We're done with our website's new face lift. I believe it's time for Phoenix to get a new look, as well. With me sitting here in Nowhere again, the big city sure takes on a different appearance. It's when you get up close that its age begins to show.

I'm back home. Life Is Good.

It's Good To Be Me

2009-01-13T07:30:00.000-07:00

I woke early this morning and I'm already running late. But, since I have no photo jobs scheduled this week, I'm taking my camera, one lens and getting out of Nowhere for walks with Mother Nature. This morning's sunrise framing a passing cowboy was a rather inspiring one. Now, I'm headed over to Dina's Coffee Shop & Hair Emporium for a short breakfast and a long look at Claudia behind the counter. Claudia has strawberry lips. And her hips turn many a head which have sent more than a few to the chiropractor. Claudia reminds me of what's good in this part of the country. Always has an ear for her customers, always lends a helping hand to the community and cares for sick dogs and stray people. Everyone who comes in to the shop with a scowl leaves with a smile. And some with a sore neck.

When Claudia drops a spoon on the coffee shop floor, Life Is Good.

Looking Ahead In The Rearview

2009-01-09T14:03:00.000-07:00

I had breakfast last week with a friend of mine who lives in Puerto Peñasco, Sonora. Over coffee and huevos rancheros, she asked why most Americans make New Year Resolutions each year, especially when it comes to bad habits like... huevos rancheros. Hope, I said. Hope for better living, better health and better self worth. January is the busiest month of every year for gym memberships and exercising in general. My friend, who runs a cleaning service in Rocky Point, asked if the folks in Nowhere get out and exercise much. "People around here get enough exercise just pushing their luck," I said hoping for a laugh. She managed a smile and replied, "Mañana," as we parted ways outside La Curva Restaurant. The word mañana is bloated with meaning in the Spanish and Mexican culture, I reminded myself. As I headed north to Nowhere, I pulled into a deserted ranch for a good cigar, some contemplation and to create some images. I thought about Now and I thought about Mañana. Right then and there I tossed Hope out the truck window - 2009 already is looking better than 2008. My spirit grew. My smile widened. . . And just like that, I've got a new view in the rearview.

Life Is Good. Real Good.

2008-12-26T08:01:00.000-07:00

We were Nowhere for Christmas again this year, and a wonderful holiday it's been. But, as you can see from the photo, it wasn't a white Christmas for Rudolph, the girls and Santa. But we're used to it around here. Even the Arizona highway department gets into the spirit with their road signs this time of year. Most places call that vandalism. The folks around these parts call it holiday cheer. We're looking forward to a Nowhere New Year!

A New Year in Nowhere. Ahh, Life Is Good.

A Special Christmas Tree

2008-12-21T10:03:00.000-07:00

The old man with the pink truck of freshly cut Christmas trees didn't arrive on time this year. Actually, he didn't show at all. First time anyone here can remember. Directions to Nowhere aren't always easy. Not to worry. Debbie and I always have had a backup plan, so off we went into the high desert late Saturday. The rains had passed, the air crisp and the desert hadn't smelled this good in a long time. The hills west of Nowhere are dotted with perfect agave plants rising like toothpicks in holiday party appetizers. One last splash of dusk framed our field of Sonoran Desert Christmas trees. Agave plants, also known to some as century plants, sprout these magnificent trunks and branches just before they die. It gives us pause knowing these beautiful plants are at life's end just as we celebrate the birth of Jesus. It's going to be a special Christmas around this year's tree.

Life Is Good When Mother Nature and God Share Their Gifts.

Holiday Shopping In The Big City

2008-12-17T09:27:00.000-07:00

I took my teen daughter to Sacks Fifth Avenue in New York a few years back to show her what big city shopping was all about. Scared the dickens out of her. Of course, she was half the size of all those adults rushing around that mammoth box they call a department store. She's a big girl now and wanted to give one more shot at that Sacks shopping experience. So, off we went. To Saks in downtown Nowhere. Fifteen minutes later she had all of her holiday shopping done. No bad experiences. No crowds. Then a $5 lunch at the Pub. We're exhausted.

Life Is Good when my daughter brings her smile and energy to Nowhere.

Cleaning My Cameras, My Guns & The Windows

2008-12-14T15:52:00.000-07:00

It's not my typical Sunday. Here in Nowhere, it's nobody's. I am watching an embarrassing Arizona Cardinals football game on the DISH while an uncharacteristic cold rain slaps at the south-facing windows. So, as I wash a couple of windows (interiors only), I notice there is no one and no thing passing by outside. These kind of days - few and far between in the high desert - begs for something more productive to do than windows. So, here I sit in my shorts spending the afternoon cleaning both my camera equipment (which has been used heavily lately) and my 20 gauge shotgun (which hasn't). This morning had promised some time devoted to dove hunting with my kids. But, on this day, the dove win. The other birds, the Cardinals, are getting filled with buckshot by the Vikings. Rain and Vikings in the desert? Just doesn't seem right.

Life Is Good, even if your boxers smell a little like cleaning fluid.

Would You Like Cream With That?

2008-12-11T14:38:00.000-07:00

Like most folks around here, I like a good cup of coffee when I step out to watch the sun rise. Darned if this morning wasn't the coldest this season. Oooweeee! Now, my wife isn't the only one in Nowhere who has accused me of having a little coffee with my creamer. I admit it, milk or cream in my cup-a-joe makes my morning. Lately, I've been slipping over to Eddie Ramirez's place on the edge of town where I find him every morning 'round six milking lovely Lulu. "The Lovely Miss Lulu," as Eddie likes to call his shoulda-died-a-long-time-ago cow. He tops off our coffee cups with a good shot of fresh milk. Can't think of anything better to do at 6 a.m. in Nowhere.

Life Is Good when Lulu flirts and Eddie squirts.

2008-12-04T06:46:00.000-07:00

Last month, I blogged about a photo shoot we were on at a ranch for an national eye wear company (see Nov. 17 blog). One of our photographers was shooting some video of our production setup and caught a curious horse poking his head into one of our SUVs. As we packed up at the end of the day we learned that horse had taken an interest in the steering wheel earlier in the day. A chunk of the wheel was missing. Guess he needed a little more fiber in his diet.

I'm back in Nowhere where Life Is Good.

Terrorist Plots

2008-11-24T10:28:00.000-07:00

Quite a scare came to the folks of Nowhere over the weekend when rumor spread of suspicious activity near town. Jack Watts, retired jet engine tester from Boeing, overheard folks talking at the Pump & Dump (Nowhere's equivalent of a 7-11). He understood there were people on N Mountain planning terrorist plots. Town Sheriff Shirley Griffin was called. He quickly called Arizona's Department of Public Safety. DPS called Arizona's division of Homeland Security and Homeland Security... Well, turns out the neighboring town's garden club recently rented some land up there and are building several terraced plots in preparation for a community garden this winter. Darn it. That was one of the better rumors to hit Nowhere in a long time.

Even with false rumors, Life Is Good.

On The Road :: Camp Verde

2008-11-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

Last week we were on assignment for Arizona Highways magazine. This week we're in central Arizona photographing women's eye wear for a national frame company. A new line of frames will be released early next year, and our photo company was chosen to photograph these cool frames on professional models on an old ranch near the Verde River. We have two full days of shooting around weathered buildings, old ranch house, corrals and meadows surrounded by mountains. These are the type of photo assignments we like to sink our teeth - and eyes - into. Our next shoot will likely be on an Indian Reservation next week.

Life Is Good, when we're on location.

2008-11-03T09:01:00.000-07:00

I used to be a political junkie having voted 20+ years Democrat and the last 16 or so years split tickets. Now, it doesn't matter which political party you're hitched to. Every four years, politicians from both sides like to fill our tanks with hope. Then, six months later, whomever got elected forgets their promises and principals and leaves us running on empty. Heck, even Nowhere's local houses of worship are jumping into the political sewer. My nose tells me there's no one left strong enough to get off the pot, flush the toilet and clean up the mess.

Life Is Good If You Can Ignore The Politicians. Say Amen.

Airing Our Dirty Laundry

2008-10-26T08:47:00.000-07:00

Is it just me or is everyone tired of the political election season? All these candidates pointing fingers at each other. Good golly! Don't they know that every time you point your finger at someone, there's three fingers on that hand pointing back at yourself? Ya, go ahead. Try it. I'll wait.... Okay now. The only thing going on in the run-up to election day is that all these folks are airing each others' dirty laundry. Which reminds me of octogenarian Emily Walton who lives in a rustic little place right on our main drag. Faithfully, every Monday morning Emily hangs her weekly laundry to dry. Right there in the front window of her place. One thing's for certain. You always know when it's Monday.

When the ballots are cast and the signs come down, Life Is Good.

Down On The Chile Farm

2008-10-22T10:32:00.000-07:00

Cameron Stevenson and the crew for our commercial photography business - Stevenson Photography On Location - put together this short video recently during a photo shoot at the Curry Seed and Chile Farm in southeast Arizona. Hope you enjoy.

Eat More Chiles

2008-10-13T07:11:00.000-07:00

It's Chile Down Here. That is the title of our latest picture story for the international travel magazine Arizona Highways. Penned by excellent freelance writer Kathleen Walker of Tucson, the story appears this month in the print edition and the online edition. The story behind the story goes much deeper. During the six months of photography for this story, my partner and son Ryan and I lived, breathed and ate chiles. There was an osmosis process which sparked a number of chile-related projects for Ryan, me and my other son Cameron who joined this creative team. Our photo company just released The Arizona Chile Poster, a colorful fine-art poster which makes a great gift. This week, we are going live with a new website, EatMoreChiles.com. Full of photographs, chile facts and great recipes. It's a fun place. Also, Cameron has produced a short video of our location photography while photographing this project. If you like chiles, then we hope you'll pay a visit.

Life is good when you eat more chiles!

Thank You Mr. President?

2008-09-19T12:30:00.000-07:00

This week, I celebrate my 33rd anniversary as a professional photographer. I'm relaxing in my front yard here in Nowhere people watching and reflecting on my career. I probably should be out shooting. But a good book and a bottle of wine seem to fit the moment. The one thing I like telling folks when they learn I'm a photographer is that I haven't worked a day in my life. And in most ways that's the truth. I have loved what I do since the day I began my career. So, here I reflect. And it reminds of what one of our U.S. Presidents had to say about my profession: "One of the great things about a book is that sometimes there are some fantastic pictures." - G.W. Bush

Thanks George. I like pictures too. Life Is Good.

Getting Nowhere Fast

2008-09-06T21:25:00.000-07:00

Nowhere residents unanimously agreed last year to enter the modern world by installing traffic lights in town. The two lights were located on each end of town in hopes of luring passersby to come to a complete stop. And visit. On the other hand, no stop signs are permitted on any other street corner in town. The thought is that local residents often need to get to Nowhere fast.

Life Is Good when you stop going in circles.

Ay Carumba!

2008-09-02T17:32:00.000-07:00

My photographer son Ryan and I spent nearly a year photographing the chile pepper industry here in Arizona for travel magazine Arizona Highways. We just learned that the story will be featured in the forthcoming October issue. During our travels across the state photographing various parts of the chile industry, we were utterly surprised to learn how hot this business has become. Literally and figuratively. We loved chiles before starting this photo project. We love them even more now. We plan a special announcement on October 1st regarding some additional chile projects we are involved with. Stop back here on October one. In the meantime, eat more chiles!

Life Is Good With Arizona Chiles!

The Hunt Is On

2008-08-22T14:03:00.000-07:00

Deer season for bow hunters just opened and the forests all around Arizona are full of hunters in their hunt camps or nearby mom-and-pop motels. Nowhere's downtown motel is no exception. But if you are a hunter, a tourist or even a local, you've got to be scratching your noggin today. Seems Tom and Ginny can't make up their mind as to whether their motel is Open or Closed. And, whether it has Vacancy or No Vacancy. I didn't have the heart to tell them about their sign until after I grabbed this shot. Then again, I decided who was I to tell them how to run their business. Maybe they planned it this way. Anyway, happy hunting hunters. I hope you find your prize deer somewhere near Nowhere.

My sons are out hunting, so Life Is Good.

Whether It's The Weather...

2008-08-17T15:49:00.000-07:00

When visitors describe Nowhere as a backwards town, they don’t know how right they are! In most parts of these United States, it is the season of winter which offers up the harshest weather. It’s backwards here in Nowhere, Arizona. The oppressive summer heat keeps most residents indoors or outta town from June through August. I dislike the month of August. Always have since I moved here from Iowa 30+ years ago. Maybe it's because most everyone else has abandoned Nowhere for places like San Diego or Flagstaff. My sons Ryan and Cameron are in Iowa right now. They're enjoying sweet corn on a daily basis while I'll be trying to force down some of my own fried green tomatoes. It's just that these fried tomatoes weren't going to be fried. They fell out of my arms this morning while picking them and instantly fried on the sidewalk outside my house. Then again, maybe it's not the weather. Who am I kidding? It IS the weather. In spite of the dog days of summer,

Life Is Good. But to damn toasty.

A Butter Cow and Fried Snickers

2008-08-09T13:11:00.000-07:00

The cow never leaves it's home. If it did, it would surely pass away quickly. And if that cow resided in my state of Arizona, it would melt quicker than the witch in The Wizard Of Oz. While I melt here in the desert inferno this August, my photo business partners are photographing The Butter Cow at the Iowa State Fair today. Ryan and Cameron are photographing many of the farm animals at this spectacular event for our stock photo agency in London. Every year since time began, the Butter Cow has been THE thing to see at the fair. This life-sized bovine is completely carved from butter. It wouldn't stand a chance here in Arizona. And,Ryan and Cameron report the best food on a stick is the fried Snickers bar. Huh? Butter and fried chocolate-what a way to go! With a Google search, you can see the Butter Cow in all it's caloric splendor.

Life Is Good If Your Cow Doesn't Melt.

Climate Change In Nowhere

2008-07-27T15:14:00.000-07:00

There’s been a lot of heated discussion the past few years about global warming. Some of the alarmists are backing off the harsh rhetoric and referring to it as Climate Change. Just about everyone knows Arizona’s climate has attracted countless numbers of people to vacation here and even pack up and move to this Shangrila. But there’s no place like Nowhere’s weather. It has it all: four seasons, nearby mountains and deserts, blood-red sunsets, and so much more. The only time climate change is mentioned in Nowhere is when winter and spring give way to summer’s heat and when summer moves south so autumn can remind us why we came here in the first place. I was listening to a BBC reporter on NPR about the heat wave crossing Europe and the flooding in England from days of heavy rains. This report actually said this: In early civilization, people blamed the weather on the gods. Until recently, the weather was blamed on Nature. In modern times, some people have to blame the weather on global warming. I'm sticking with Mother Nature.

Eat More Chiles, and Life Is Good.

Highrise In A Low Rent Town

2008-07-15T09:29:00.000-07:00

Our town’s architecture has more mix than the mayor’s German Shepard - Chihuahua guard dog. There’s Spanish Colonial as well as turn-of-the-century brick and mortar. And what I like to call Old West Wood-on-Wood. All serve their purposes and certainly add to the character of Nowhere. A New York City fellow caused quite a stir in town back in the 1970s. This big city architect was passing through Nowhere on his way to somewhere but decided to stay. Most folks figured he musta been running from an ex-wife or girlfriend. Or both. He was a friendly sort on the surface but turned out to be as slick as his oiled hair. He attended a town council meeting to present his architectural plans for a high rise apartment building in Nowhere. Can you imagine?! The whole thing was rejected unanimously, of course. The one council member in attendance that night (yes, that constitutes a majority) didn’t know a soul in town who would consider moving out of their own house and into this box.

When government works, Life Is Good.

Happy Birthday USA

2008-07-03T16:09:00.000-07:00

I’ve discovered no one in Nowhere who thinks much of the English Only movement. It’s not that folks here aren’t patriotic or pro-America. But it just isn’t that important to Nowherians. Both the Anglos and the Hispanics (see June 24 Blog about our Census) here make an attempt to learn each other’s language. Everyone tries, and everyone helps each other out when in a pinch. The thing folks here have trouble with is Sunday Mass. It’s still in Latin. Now, come on, the last time anyone attended Latin class in these parts was when Father Kino rode his mule through here in the 1500s. NO GRACIAS! Heck, most people forget we’re ALL Americans - some North, some Central and some South Americans.

¡feliz cumpleaños! USA. Life Is Tasty Good at a Watermelon Feast.

Rain Dance

2008-06-26T17:37:00.000-07:00

People living in Arizona more than 3 months have come to learn of our monsoon season, the (somewhat) rainy period from July to September when moist air travels north from Mexico and renews life here. The monsoon season arrived today but it comes under a governmental cloud of stupidity. Someone - or a group of someones - has decided that the term monsoon should no longer be used to describe our rainy season in Arizona because it should only apply to this type of weather occurring from the Indian Ocean and Southeast Asia. They're all wet, I say. I paid a quick visit dictionary.com, and here's what it says.

mon·soon
n. A wind system that influences large climatic regions and reverses direction seasonally.

Well, well, well. The Indian Ocean and Southeast Asia can have its monsoon season. And so shall we!

Life is Good.

Don't Bother Counting

2008-06-24T10:43:00.000-07:00

Most residents of Nowhere came from somewhere somehow. The last Census showed 49 percent are of Anglo-European descent and 49 percent are of Hispanic descent. The other 2 percent? Well, these folks fall under the census category as: Asian, Eskimo and Other. Haven’t run into those folks yet. We could use some fresh faces around here. Speaking of the Census, Nowhere’s official population hasn’t changed by one in the past 50 years. According to unofficial (official in her own mind) town historian Ruby Ramirez, every time a baby is born in Nowhere, there’s a man who quickly leaves town. Ruby sure knows how to laugh.

Father's Day For Father Mickey D

2008-06-15T08:37:00.000-07:00

Until Dolly’s Pharmacy started carrying greeting cards back in the 90s, town folks just thought Fathers Day was for honoring our local priest, Father MacDonald. I think he misses all those cards and baked goods paritioners would leave in the pews each June. When I was a kid, I attended church religiously with my parents...until I was about eight. After one Sunday service as I walked out with my parents, I told the priest, "When I grow up, I'm going to give you some money." "Well, thank you," our priest replied, "but why?" "Because my daddy says you're one of the poorest priests we've ever had.

Haven't attended worship service much since. Nonetheless,

Life Is Good.

Oil. Corn. Water.

2008-06-06T10:08:00.000-07:00

Boy, am I behind on my Nowhere updates! I've just returned from a trip to Iowa where I got to hang out with my brothers and help them finish planting corn and soybeans. We also did a little mushroom hunting and wild asparagus picking. Oooh so good. Also checked in with the new ethanol plant - CORN LP - built near my old home town of Goldfield. I would be misleading you if I didn't tell you upfront that I am prejudice against foreign oil and in favor of America's home-grown, home-made ethanol. The bottom line is this, for the foreseeable future, bio fuels are a good alternative to foreign oil. Like it or not. Bio fuels are a renewable source. Oil isn't. Bio fuels are "Made in America." Save our USA oil for another day. With bio fuels, every cent to produce, transport and sell remains in this country trickling through all economic channels. With bio fuels, farmers finally are getting a fair return on their investment. My father received $2 a bushel corn in 1950 and the same in 2004. Now, $5 corn allows farmers to help pay down debt they've carried for years, buy new USA made tractors, combines, planters which in return benefits those USA factory workers, which in turn provides workers the opportunity to purchase cars, appliances, pay college tuition and so much more. My brothers farm, and it's not a giant corporation people like to complain about. During planting and harvest seasons, they spend $1,000 a day on fuel. So I don't complain about what I pay at the pump. Complain to the politicians about our dependency on foreign oil and influence. Next time any of you want to jump on the anti-ethanol and anti-agriculture bandwagon, skip the political correctness and negativism permeating our society and be thankful for what we have and what farming provides us. In fact, read your Sunday newspaper online and save 280 gallons of water. Here are a few FACTS:
- To produce 1 gallon of ethanol it takes........3 gallons of water.
- To produce 1 gallon of gasoline it takes........41.5 gallons of water.
- To produce 1 tire it takes........518 gallons of water.
- To produce 1 pound of paper it takes........100 gallons of water.
- To produce 1 Sunday newspaper it takes........280 gallons of water.
- To produce 1 pound of steel it takes........31.8 gallons of water.
- To produce 1 pound of plastic it takes........24 gallons of water.
- To produce 1 pound of hamburger it takes.......4 gallons of water.

Quit complaining. Life Remains Good.

Say What?

2008-05-04T14:32:00.001-07:00

It's a conspiracy. I don't believe in conspiracies, per se. But this IS a conspiracy. And I thought it only happened in the big cities like Phoenix and Tucson. Just when the good weather arrives ushering in the tourist season, the highway department decides to get busy with road repairs. Well, it's no different in Nowhere. By the look of these signs, which went up on the main roadway through town more than a week ago, no one in Nowhere can go anywhere. And, if you are one step ahead of me at this point, since the signs went up, there have been nary a road worker to be found. Maybe they're following all these signs and staying away from the work zone.

Life is good in Nowhere. But full of wrong turns right now.

Gunslinger Miss Claire

2008-04-27T17:08:00.001-07:00

It's clear, no one and nothing ever beat Claire Wald at a stare-down. Not even a mean, stubborn rattler. It's well into spring in these parts, and that's when rattlesnakes come out of their stupor hungry and angry. Miss Claire, as she's known to long timers here, loves rattlers. Or, should I say, she loves skinning and eating those that cross the octogenarian's path. She's lived alone in the same house since time began. And for some unknown reason, when the weather turns warm, rattlers all seem to slither by her house's northeast corner and park themselves in the middle of Eighth Street for a little sun. In past years, the snakes would draw the attention of the town's curious, which is about everybody including taunting children and small dogs. So, ever since I can remember, Miss Claire would take it upon herself to wrangle these critters (rattlers, not the mutts or kids) if they wouldn't get out of the middle of the road. She'd grab the four-to-five-footer using a long-handled pincher, pin it to the top of her 10-foot wooden picnic table and with one swing of the hatchet (also long-handled), separate head from body. Thirty minutes later, she'd have that snake gutted and skinned for all who gathered to gaze upon. A few years ago, Miss Claire switched from the hatchet routine to a pistol with snake shot after all that hatchet work turned the table into kindling. She keeps the heads on the bodies now. A snake, even a dead one, looks meaner with its head on. She has quite a collection tacked to the wall of her garage and says the meat tastes like chicken. I had a piece once. Yup, chicken. Anyway, this year Miss Claire posted a sign where the snakes cross every year. This spring's first snake wiggled right by Miss Claire's Thursday, and it wouldn't move on with her no-so-Christian-like verbal coaxing. The two then were locked into a stare-down for some 35 minutes. It looked to us (half the town, it seemed) that Miss Claire was about to pull from her fanny pack the snake pistol when the old boy had the good sense to move on. "I was getting a little tired of chicken, anyway," Miss Claire told the crowd. I saw Miss Claire later that evening at the local Dairy Why (our stripped down version of a Dairy Queen) in a booth by herself. With two pieces of chicken on her plate. And her fanny pack on. She winked at me. What a gal.

When Miss Claire graces our streets, Life Is Good.

Catch & Release

2008-04-09T08:38:00.000-07:00

Watching my brother David fish is like watching a six-year-old in a candy store except in a 50 year old body (good one, I might add). David, with his son Nate, escaped one of Iowa's worst winters to visit me here in Nowhere last week. David farms in Goldfield, Iowa - when it's not snowing or raining - otherwise, he's on a mission for fishing with his Arizona brothers and my sons. Anticipation, and cabin fever, drove David to the internet this winter where he found fishing guru and seafishing guide Ric Felder (ricsrockypointfishing.com) in Phoenix who makes great lures for fishing trips to Rocky Point, Mexico. David snagged a load of those lures and a few hours later some nice corvina and bass in the La Piñta Estuary shore-fishing for dinner. We're believers in keepin' only what we're eatin'. Otherwise, its catch & release. The fish like the release part of the deal.

Life is good...especially when fishing.

New Visitor in Town

2008-04-02T16:47:00.000-07:00

Geez, there's one heck of an odor coming from widow Ethel Bergman's place over on Hacienda Street. I can smell it a block away on my walk to the post office. A little sweet. A little sour. On my walk home, I swing by Ethel's lovely old house, the kind you find in many midwest towns. My first glance is focused on the hanging flower pots on her front porch. Sweet floral bouquet. Suddenly, I see - and smell - the pile of sour on the lawn. Having a great breakfast at Ethel's porch is a female elk which obviously is either lost or tired of winter grass in the mountains outside of town. After snapping a picture, I thought it best to inform Ethel of her unannounced guest. As her screen door creaks open, I'm met with a not-so-happy Ethel. "Want me to shoosh the cow away, I asked. "No! Get your butt on down the street. I'm enjoying my visitor from the living room window." I took my camera, my rear-end and a few snaps before slipping home with my tail between my legs. I think I'll make a nice print and drop it off at Ethel's tomorrow. (Canon EOS 1Ds camera, 70-200mm 2.8 lens, 1/160th, f/3.5, ISO 200)

March Into The Color

2008-03-10T09:35:00.000-07:00

This really is my favorite time of year. Warm days. SUV windows down. Wind through my hair. Mother Nature sitting right next to me. Ahhh. I just returned from Sonora, Mexico, neighboring state to the south of us. The Sonoran Desert, which knows no borders, is alive with color on both sides. I believe it's the best wildflower season in the 20+ years I've visited. In Arizona, the highway from Gila Bend to the border town of Lukeville is a good way to see Arizona spring in all its glory. And, the last time I witnessed the desert floor blanketed in color like this was back in the mid 1980s. The Organ Pipe National Monument, located between Arizona's Ajo Mountains and the Mexico border, has a number of back roads for touring, and is the only place in the United States that you'll find the organ pipe cactus. Right now, you can enjoy both milder temperatures and incredible desert color of golden poppies, blue lupines, pink owl clover and so much more. These carmel colored sunsets the past week make my heart sing.

Life is good and vibrant.

Spring Break & Inflated Tacos

2008-03-07T16:30:00.000-07:00

The population of Nowhere takes a significant dive for a week each year as young people make a beeline to Rocky Point, Mexico where spring break is a ritual, not just a vacation. Young Nowhereians join tens of thousands of high school and college kids from across the Southwest where the daily menu consists of nachos, nakedness and numbness. We visit this Mexican seaside town on a regular basis. But spring break is one time I get as far away as possible. Rocky Point (official name: Puerto Peñasco) is a wonderful fishing village on steroids. Tourism has exploded. And, the locals are trying their best to capitalize on the influx. Taco stands sprout up each evening on just about every corner in town, and it is a blast checking out these mom and pop shops. The photo accompanying today's blog is one of my favorite cultural translations from Spanish to English. The taco stand owner who slapped this sign up along the street intended to say that he offers huge tacos. But, "inflated fish tacos" works just as well, if not better, driving gringos to his finger food.

Ah, life is good and so are the tacos.

Leap Day & Our 666 Controversy

2008-02-28T14:48:00.000-07:00

This Leap Year brings with it the 140th anniversary of Nowhere's founding. With that, our post office is issuing a commemorative stamp. Also, it was exactly 40 years ago that the town got its first official post office. February 29 is a pretty important date around here. Probably the biggest controversy to ever hit Nowhere was on this date back in 1968 when the town got it’s own post office - 100 years after forming. Until then all mail was dropped off at Dolly's Pharmacy by CO-OP driver Dennis Day. You see, when the Feds granted Nowhere the new post office, it assigned the zip code: 85666. Well, as you can imagine, those numbers created quite a stir amongst many in this hamlet of church-going folks. A petition was even sent back to Senator Barry Goldwater's office in Washington. But the locals eventually found a compromise. See, no one wanted their zip code to start with ...85... because that’s what the zip codes in big-cities Phoenix and Tucson have. And folks around here don’t much like to be associated with big city life. In exchange for keeping the 85 in 85666, the senator promised to be the grand marshall of Nowhere’s annual Independence Day parade. Somehow, the parade skipped Goldwater's mind that year. When the parade came and went, everyone pretty much forgot about the controversy. And the senator.

Life is good every Feb. 29th

How Government Works

2008-02-18T13:31:00.000-07:00

In most places it's a holiday today. Presidents Day, which in these parts means no mail but plenty of red, white and blue. Before heading off to my Tempe office for a few days, I stopped in for a cup of joe at Dina's Coffee and Hair Emporium. Doc Mott, a retired vet from northern Virginia, was in for his daily brew and pulled up a chair with some other boys. Having resided near Washington, D.C. before living here the past 20 years gives ol Doc a twisted (or not) perspective on government. As his story goes...

Once upon a time the government had a vast scrap yard in the middle of the Arizona desert. Congress said,"Someone may steal from it at night." So they created a night watchman position and hired a person for the job.

Then Congress said,"How does the watchman do his job without instruction?" So they created a planning department and hired two people, one person to write the instructions, and one person to do time studies.

Then Congress said,"How will we know the night watchman is doing the tasks correctly?" So they created a Quality Control department and hired two people. One to do the studies and one to write the reports.

Then Congress said,"How are these people going to get paid?" So they created the following positions, a time keeper, and a payroll officer, then hired two people.

Then Congress said,"Who will be accountable for all of these people?" So they created an administrative section and hired three people, an Administrative Officer, Assistant Administrative Officer, and a Legal Secretary.

Then Congress said,"We have had this command in operation for one year and we are $18,000 over budget, we must cutback overall cost." So they laid off the night watchman.

Life is good, but twisted sometimes.

It's Heartly Fair

2008-02-14T09:01:00.000-07:00

Those of us living in Arizona know what today is. February 14 is the day we celebrate two events: Statehood Day AND Valentine's Day. Supposedly this Roman priest, St. Valentine, died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries. Legend has it that before St. Valentine was wasted by the Emperor, he left a farewell note for the jailer's daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". A couple hundred years later, Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine. February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages, sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers. Somewhere it's gotten outta hand, wouldn't you say? Nowhere doesn't have a flower shop. Most folks here grow 'em or pick 'em roadside. Yet, on February 13 and 14, Nels Nelson parks his truck along Main and sells bushels of red flowers to Nowhereians. Apparently, Arizona flags aren't THAT popular. Heart shaped rocks sell better than our flag. The region was sometimes called Arizona before 1863, although it was still in the Territory of New Mexico. Then along came February 14, 1912 and someone made it the 48th state. Don't think the folks in New Mexico, or Old Mexico for that matter, were too happy. Anyway, today the flags are hanging from many houses, people are buying roses, and the sweet smell of love wafts through the air. Smells like rain, too.

Love is good.

Directions Please

2008-02-02T15:47:00.000-07:00

When folks visit Nowhere for the first time, they quickly learn that either our city founders either had a sense of humor or they lacked any creativity whatsoever when it came to naming Nowhere's streets. There's the plain vanilla East, West, South and North Streets. North Street runs east and west except when it curves south around the town's natural springs. Between East and West streets are the numbered streets starting with 1st Street on the east and moving west 'til 16th Street. No one wanted 13th Street so the founders decided to make that street Main Street. Go figure. Those pioneers must have been tipping a bottle or two when they came up with names.

Nevertheless, Life is good.

A Little Respect

2008-01-28T14:42:00.000-07:00

Speaking of Arizona Highways magazine, most folks around here can’t figure out why the editor (Robert Stieve)or those before him haven't assigned a writer to do a story on Nowhere. It is the most often asked question I get from my fellow Nowherians when I am in town. Now, Nowhere may not be a destination spot, but a whole lotta people pass through Nowhere on their way to somewhere. Anyway, Maybell McLaurey, the town’s historian and great great aunt of mine, started a campaign last week to get every family in town to subscribe to Arizona Highways in hopes of getting the editor's attention (editor@arizonahighways.com) ;-} We’ll see. Actually, years before I even picked up a camera, one of the magazine’s photographers once stopped in Nowhere. Oldtimers swear it was Ansel Adams, but no one in Nowhere can be absolutely certain. As the stories go, word spread like watered down pancake mix. Real fast. But, by the time folks could gather at the Pump and Dump (our version of a 7-11), he’d already used the toilet and secured directions for Ajo, Arizona... Ajo?!

Life is good.

Something's Fishy

2008-01-23T08:09:00.000-07:00

Stopped to pick up my mail and bumped into friends Remi and Rosie. They were on their way back from an ice fishing trip in Arizona's White Mountains where they caught only three rainbow trout. Rosie sheepishly volunteered, "I tink eech fesh cost us 400 dollar." I looked at Remi for a resonse."Es good we deed not catch any more." These guys crack me up.

Life is good.

On The Road Again

2008-01-16T07:51:00.000-07:00

As you might have gathered by now, I am a photographer for Arizona’s best promotional piece bar none, Arizona Highways magazine. I was on the phone recently with the Director of Photography Peter Ensenberger and garnered some interesting statistics about this internationally acclaimed publication. It was first published on April 15, 1925 (see original cover at right) by the engineers in the old Arizona Highway Department (now the Arizona Department of Transportation). From the very beginning the magazine contained travel stories and scenic photographs, although in the early years the photos were black and white. The first issue had 26 pages. One thousand copies were printed and they sold for 10 cents each. The first color photograph wasn't published until 13 years later - July 1938. The most incredible statistic? It has subscribers in 122 countries around the world. For ANY publication, that is amazing! Well, I'm on the road again, this time Mexico.

Life is good.

On The Map

2008-01-08T20:43:00.000-07:00

Old timers say Nowhere used to be on state maps, but one year someone with the department of transportation over there in Phoenix left it off and it’s never gotten back on. Arizona Highways Magazine, a division of the state transportation department, used to print these wonderfully designed and handy state maps but stopped a few years back. Too bad. It was the best map of Arizona and I would hand them out to folks I photographed for the magazine. I spoke with the magazine's Director of Photographer Peter Ensenberger just the other day at his office and he tells me that those great maps are kaput because the state government outright dumped the mapping department all together. Geez. Luckily, that Rand(y) McNally fellow didn’t forget about Arizona. That reminds me, I should send him a note to see if he can get Nowhere back on the map. Most people ‘round here just tell folks that Nowhere is somewhere south of Nothing and just west of Hell, but that’s just not right.

Nonetheless, life is good.

How Nowhere Got To Be - well - Nowhere

2007-12-25T09:25:00.000-07:00

Early settlers had moved here in the autumn and experienced nine months of delightfully pleasant weather. Subsequently, townsfolk agreed to call the new settlement Pleasantville. Yet, several summers of extreme heat left a bad taste in everyone’s mouth along with the need for plenty of deodorant. As the story goes, early resident Sid Popp was so upset with the unexpected summer heat that he sued the town, mayor and councilmen for misrepresentation and false advertising for using the name Pleasantville. Fearing financial ruin, the town decided to change its name. Like most American towns, no one could agree on a replacement name. According to a local newspaper story at the time, suggested names included: Plankton (yes someone forgot the W), Agua Caliente (already taken), Fountain City (no fountains) and Liberty (not bad). At a town meeting, an angry fellow who still favored Pleasantville, stormed out the door screaming that if the name was changed, we’d all be stuck in the middle of nowhere with nobody to visit and nowhere to go. Yup, the name stuck.

Life is good here.

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